wandering wonder

Under the warm sunshine,

all I've been doing is reading.

Wandering through the wondering world.

read.

read.

read.

if you want me to...

give me a blanket, a good cup of coffee and a really good book,
and I'll shut up.

season of blossoms

After a long winter with lots of snow, all of the sudden, spring has come in Tokyo.

Spring is a season for blooming.
Spring is a season for start.
Spring is a season for love.

I want to go on a short trip with my hubby in a pastel-color spring sweater and a pretty patterned scarf.
Ayurveda and Yoga classes are scheduled on my calendar.I have started journaling again:)

I'm so pumped!

...and then I found five dollars.

【and then I found five dollars】
     - a phrase used at the end of a story that had really no point to be told to someone. used at the end of boring stories to make them seem more interesting and worthwhile.

(sited from Urban Dictionary)

It happens most often when you are too excited to be calm, especially right after the event.

Tell me about it.

Been there, done that.

There have been so many situations where I wish I knew this phrase before.

Well, now I know.

the art of saying no

I was checking my favorite blog for the first time in a long time, and found one post which struck me as a pain. It was as true and clear as the blue sky.

There are things harder to say no to.
If you say yes, you’re a good person. You’re a super hero. You’re a team player. Everyone loves you. Yay! But you’re also a bit of a doormat. A very unhappy doormat.
If you say no, you run a high risk of being judged. People might stop liking you. You’ll probably be ridden with guilt.
Hi. My name is Jeanine and I’m a people pleaser. It’s a sickness. And I do it because I don’t want people to judge me. I want them to think warm fuzzy thoughts about me. Even strangers on the street. Even the person sitting next to me on the tube.
What would everyone think of me? They’d probably judge me, maybe huff, maybe give me a nasty look. Gasp! How could I live with that?
It is ex-haus-ting!
Starting today, I intend to practice the art of saying no again. And meaning it. And living through the cringe of saying it.

The world had been a dark black hole for me for a last few months.
I was struggling so hard to get the hell out of there, but I just couldn't.
The more I struggled, the more I got deep. I felt like it was the end of the world.
I am tired of hating myself.

But now I kind of get the key to the way out.
Being honest. To everybody. Especially to myself.

inside-out

mmm... seems like I'm in a deep mess.

The world turned their back on me? How?

Inside-out.

Guess that's what it is.

Introspection.

I'll try.

being in the moment

A Zen lesson tells:

There are only two.
Love or Anger

You suffer from anger.

Anger could be jealousy, anxiety, regret... all those negative feelings.

But notice:

You have only this moment.

Your regret is already the past which you can't change.
Your anxiety is the future which you can't manage.
Your jealousy is an only your imagination about someone which is usually not 100% true.

There is no point to think about things not under your control, and feel depressed.
But there is one thing which is 100% certain and under your control.

The moment you live in.

Forget about your anxiety, regret, jealousy, things not under your control.
And smile. Enjoy the moment.

The future is an accumulation of NOW.

If you are so upset about something/ someone now.
Let it go.
That's none of your business.
There's nothing you can do about it exept for smiling and make the moment Love instead of Anger.

Be in the moment.
Cherish it, because that's all you have.

Of Life and Else

2013 has passed in a second.

I had kept myself too busy to think about life and else.

Well, my physical condition improved a lot though, which is good.

The new year's resolution?

Probably more focusing on the quality time to read, think, and meditate on higher things.

Wanna become a mentally mature woman.

Life Lessons from Buddha

I had been devastated ever.
Felt like my very existence was completely rejected.
Had no idea how to think and live from now on...

But when you are facing to the difficulties in your life, it could be a great opportunity to learn and grow. I encountered this book called "Life Lessons from Buddha". Turning the pages, I was absorbed in the words from the ancient lessons.

Always having my mentor next to me,  I should be more grateful for the people and situation around me.

my Guru told me...

Yesterday after the monthly Thai massage treatment,  my Guru, Uzu-san, told me that if your feet were cold, you need some exercise like yoga. When you build your inner muscle, your body can create much more energy and has better blood circulation.

During the summer, I don't notice how cold my feet can get, but once the leaves in the trees change their color, I remember the fact that I have really bad blood circulation and have been suffering every winter for a long time.

Since last year, I have been practicing Thai Yoga called Rusie Dutton for about a year, but the class is held only twice a month. I kinda noticed that I needed more than that. Uzu-san said she tries to practice yoga every day in her break time for 15 mins to 30 mins, and that helps a lot.

I wanna start going to her different classes too now. I also should practice at home.
One of my dreams is having my own English-Yoga class. Practice practice practice!

being part of the conversation

he told me that when I be part of the conversation, the conversation gets much more animated and attractive.

あんりが会話の中心にいると華がある

the word made me so happy.

I'm not the type of person who can provide lots of topics and deep thoughts about things, but I love to hear others'. 

probably my interests toward things draw someone's desire to talk? well, if so, I'd be so honored.

don't let little stupid things break your happiness

quality texture

After half a year hetori life, now I crave the quality texture all around me.

For clothings, I prefer natural fibers like silk, cashmere, lamb wool, alpaca wool, organic cotton instead of synthetic fibers like nylon, polyester.

For food, I try to cook with local veges, brown rice and organic stuff, instead of instant foods.

上質生活

I don't want a lot. But for the things I own, I'd rather insist on quality.

monday

in a post-weekend haze.

too much drink. too much laughter.

of dullness, to linger into monday.

note: add to my favorite list

週末の余韻残る けだるい月曜日がだいすきです

stepping on a paper?

The other day, my hubby said "you are stepping on a paper."

No, it wasn't true.

It's just that my room shoes were worn out and they were frayed at the edge of the shoe, so the white cloth came off and looked like I was stepping on a paper...

I decided that it was time to buy new ones.

So here they are.

My new room shoes! Yahoo!

Words shape reality, rather than vice versa.

Kanako Nishi's latest novel, Fukuwarai, reminded me of the time. The time I was in a deep dark hole which seemed to have no ending.

At that time, novels which soothing my wound were the only thing I had.

Yoshimoto Banana
Miyashita Natsu
Kawai Hayao
Ogawa Ito
Ogawa Yoko
...

Can't thank them enough.
They were healing my depressed spirit slowly yet steadily.
One fine afternoon, reading one of their books, I found myself feeling calm and full of bliss.
They might know the insight of the world a little better than many.

 "Words shape reality, rather than vice versa."

Simple Yet Profound Life

One summer night, I was reading a book on my canopy bed.

Under the full moon, nice night breeze flowing through the room and I was taking the moment in.

And realized.

This is all I want.

Nice breeze, favorite novels, dearest hubby, mom's cooking, camping on weekends, occasional surprises.

Simple yet profound life.

Yes, that's exactly what I want.

I want a grip on reality.

Check out these guys.

These guys made my day.
Norwegian guys going crazy, living their lives.

Rafting naked, diving from the bridge, camping in someone's back yard in below-freezing temperature, taking their "chicken pet" everywhere they go.
Cannonball into a freezing river in winter, naked!

When asked the reason to camp out in winter instead of staying hotels, one of the guys commented "I want to feel alive. Almost anything could be solved with money now. But I want to take care of myself. I want a grip on reality. on this world."

They are living their lives.

Summer

Summer has come.

The reading list for this summer has been picked out and I've got plans to see my friends everywhere.

My summer has just kick-started.

Hate Hay Fever

All of a sudden, unexpected spring heat hit the city today. As the temperature got about 21 degrees mid-afternoon, huge waves of pollen started wafting in the air, which caused me super annoying sneezing and eye irritation all day. It lasted until near midnight.


Do you know what happen when you have continuous bad sneezing and corresponding sore throat and painful back part of nose? Brain freeze. You can't think right. You don't even want to think. Only thing in your mind is to get the irritation away.

"mens sana in corpore sano"

             -from the Roman poet Juvenal

Meaning "A healthy mind in a healthy body." Just like he says, everything begins from a healthy body. Without it, you are unable of more than you expect.