the art of saying no

I was checking my favorite blog for the first time in a long time, and found one post which struck me as a pain. It was as true and clear as the blue sky.

There are things harder to say no to.
If you say yes, you’re a good person. You’re a super hero. You’re a team player. Everyone loves you. Yay! But you’re also a bit of a doormat. A very unhappy doormat.
If you say no, you run a high risk of being judged. People might stop liking you. You’ll probably be ridden with guilt.
Hi. My name is Jeanine and I’m a people pleaser. It’s a sickness. And I do it because I don’t want people to judge me. I want them to think warm fuzzy thoughts about me. Even strangers on the street. Even the person sitting next to me on the tube.
What would everyone think of me? They’d probably judge me, maybe huff, maybe give me a nasty look. Gasp! How could I live with that?
It is ex-haus-ting!
Starting today, I intend to practice the art of saying no again. And meaning it. And living through the cringe of saying it.

The world had been a dark black hole for me for a last few months.
I was struggling so hard to get the hell out of there, but I just couldn't.
The more I struggled, the more I got deep. I felt like it was the end of the world.
I am tired of hating myself.

But now I kind of get the key to the way out.
Being honest. To everybody. Especially to myself.