...and then a lovely sunny day!

After the storm's gone, it was bright blue sky up there. In Japan, you don't see as much clear sky as in Western Countries due to the humidity. Even when there is the sun out, everything seems to be covered by kind of mist or something. Or in other words, the sunlight come down to the earth through the some kind of filter, so that the whole world looks like in a polaroid picture. I didn't like it when I came back from other countries, but now I see other aspects of this world. As I thought back in NY, the weather has big impact on the people living there. Spain and Italy in brightly sunny and warm days all year round. Serious weather in both summer and winter in NY. High humidity in Japan and Korea. Cold and shorter day-time in winter in Germany. Looooong night in winter in Northern European countires such as Norway and Finland. It's very interesting the interaction between weather and people. And when it comes to me, I have to think about it. How I want to live. How I wanna spend time with soon-to-be my family.

Raining...

A heavy rainy day. I read books in the cold pale room all day. Laying between the warm blankets. Holding a hottie covered by fluffy bear.
I love heavy rainy days. If it's light rain, you would have to be torn between staying home or going out because you know that there's always fun out there. However, if it's heavy, you have no choice but staying home gracefully. With no regrets. Also light rain doesn't make much noise but heavy one has a sense of nostalgia, and I love it.

By the way, when it's light rain, I would go out, personally. Because there is another taste of nostalgia in the steaming world.

oh boy...

It's been only a couple of days since Kanta left here. And I got a first email from India this morning. He seems like got cheated and lost a couple of hundreds dollar already at the Air port. What a eventful start... I know how it's like when you have bad things right after you get to new cities. Sucks. Depressing. You start suspecting everyone around you. I know it's really bad. Good thing about this time is he knows someone in the city and will meet up with him tonight. His friend sure will make him feel better about people there. I mean that's the life there, right? If he will travel around India for more than a month, he has to get used to it. He can't breakdown everytime he is deceived because they are not offended about it, it's a part of life there. It must be hard especially for people like him, nice and never suspicious about anyone, but I want him to be strong enough to deal with it, and I know he knows.

beautifu autumn day isn't necessary a happy day

He has left to India this morning. It will be at least 3 months until he gets back here from this dream trip. We've been talking about this for quite a long time, and I thought I was ready for this, but I wasn't. Some part of me is really hoping that he will enjoy and experience a lot, but some part of me is desperate for coming with him, which was actually the original plan. We have traveled many countries and places together. Those memories are precious treasure to me. Days we spent together in freezing NY. El camino we walked for whole days in Spain. His birthday in Paris. I desperately wish I could come with him this time again and make another special memory together.

Last night, I had bad hyperventilation while I was sleeping next to him. It might be due to unconscious anxiety by him leaving. He covered half of my mouth so that I won't inhale too much, and it did work. It made me breath surprisingly easier. And once my breath was in control, I burst into tears. It all happened in dark and we were both half asleep, so I can't remember exactly what happened in what order, but the feeling I had is still now vividly going around in my mind.

Though I am excited for him and it's a beautiful autumn day, my mind is somewhere not here.

happy memory and her

After long time apart each other, I met up with her for dinner last night. It turned out to be so natural to talk with her even after long time apart. It never seemed like we haven't see each other for almost 5 years. Though we are not students anymore like we met last time, no update for a while, no friends or places to hangout in common anymore, still we feel really close in somewhere core in us.

Fumiko and I went to LA, Las Vegas, and Vancouver together few years ago. That was one of my most favorite trips. It wasn't about where we went or what we did. All I remember is on a huge ferry, feeling strong sunshine and northern wind, we were listening Michael Jackson on one CD player. At the huge museum, getting sleepy, we actually slept on the couch for like an hour. When we realized, it was at sunset and we rush out to the back yard, and watched the beautiful purple sky getting dark between mountains. In the hostel, we met a lovely Swedish girl. We talked. And the next day, she was gone when we woke up, but on the bed, she left us a sweetest letter I have ever read. Fumiko still has that letter. All that memory we made was something not material. Not about where we went or what we did, but something I felt with her. Something so strong feeling that I would never forget. She is always the one who can make people feel that way.

Autumn Sky

I used to love San Francisco in orange color in autumn. I was away from Tokyo too long to remember how it was like in Tokyo at the same time of the year. Here I am. After six years, now I know why all my friends say Tokyo in autumn is so beautiful.

I was on the way back from the flower shop for my mom's half century birthday yesterday. I took the different street from I always take. The street was more like a riverbank path by the small stream. It was about time of sunset. 4:30pm. Clear sky in blue-green/turquoise color. The orange sun light made everything on the earth golden brown. Cosmos flower. Half-turned-red leaves on the half bared trees. Old couples holding their hands. Young man walking a dog. Everything, just everything was perfect. I was riding a bicycle as slow as I could balance, holding a flower bouquet, looking up the beautiful autumn sky as long as I could be blind of people and utility poles coming toward me. When I got back home, sun had just set. What a wonderful day.

always and forever

25th birthday

Quarter of a Century. Sounds like forever, but that's how long I've been living. God, I just can't believe it.
Many thanks for my mom and dad for giving me a birth. Many thanks for my boyfriend for being with me. And many thanks for my lovely friends who congratulate my 25th birthday from all over the world.
My life had never been so unexpected and not-planned before. Now, I only have my body and few clothes and literally that's it. I am very excited about this simple life and about unexpected mind status and spiritual awakening I might get out of this life. More than ever before, this 25th year sure will be eventful and joyful.
I thank the past 25 years and I will enjoy this year ever before. Whatever happens, I have my family, my boyfriend, and wonderful friends who would support me without asking.
Love you all!!